Why I love natural birth and how I came to love it.

You may be surprised to hear that I have not always been a natural birth advocate. In fact, I was very far from it.

My first pregnancy was unplanned. I was with a huge jerk (to put it incredibly lightly) and was only 16 when I conceived my glorious daughter. After seeing the two lines on the test confirming my pregnancy and deciding right then and there I was keeping my baby, the second decision I made was to sign up for an epidural, because "No way was I going to feel that pain if I didn't have to!". My mother tried to talk me out of it numerous times, having birthed my brother and I naturally, but I wouldn't have it. Yes, I had sex and was soon to be a mother, but I was still a teenager, and part of my insistance was to spite her. Ahh, ignorance is bliss.

When Christmas break of my senior year arrived and I was just days away from my due date, I still never doubted my decision to "numb" my birth experience. When the big day came, I did just that. At 4 cm and "near death" from the pain (Read: I was a big fat wimp that did nothing to prepare except sign up for the epi) I received my epidural. "In 15 minutes, you'll feel nothing from the waist down.". GREAT. FINALLY. But, what's this? 15 minutes later I'm still crying like a baby. The epi didn't take, so I had to have it re-administered (oh yea, that was fun. Anyone who's had one of those gawd awful things KNOWS what I'm talking about!). This time, it took and I proceeded to fall asleep.

I was woken up a few hours later by nurse who checked me, said I was complete and told me to start pushing. After about 1 1/2-2 hours of pushing, my doctor showed up. 3 hours from the start of pushing, my mom holding one leg, my best friend holding the other, my daughter was finally born, with internal monitor in her head and all! She was whisked away to NICU to address this DANGEROUS (sarcasm) meconium, then her apgar was done and finally, at 1 hour old, I held my baby girl, nursed her for 15 minutes and she was whisked away again, to go to the nursery, while I was sent to post partum.

Fast forward to baby number 2. The birth of my second daughter was very different from that of my first. I woke up at 4:30 in the morning with contractions, pretty regular ones at that, but not painful, just consistent. I sent hubby off to work and told him that by the time he got home at around 1pm we'd probably need to head to the hospital to have a baby.

That never happened. I mean, we had a baby, but not at 1pm, and not at a hospital. My labor quickly progressed from consistent to efficient. I thought back to my previous birth, when I thought the end of the world was approaching at 4cm, and I decided I was nowhere near that this time and to labor it out at home until Seth returned.

I began to feel a lot of pressure, and was sure I had to go to the bathroom. I made a lot of attempts to do so, but to no avail. I paced a lot, it's just what my body needed, told me to do. I hardly sat still for a moment. Finally, I was having to really breathe through my contractions and decided a bath sounded nice. I ran the water, nice and warm, and sunk into the tub. I actually began to drift to sleep. The bath worked...for a while. Finally, I was in the mindset that birth was eminent and I need to go. I called Seth at work, but he said he couldn't leave (at this time we were very poor and he worked a minimum wage job that we needed and he was afraid of losing it). I called my best friend, Toni, and she rushed right over.

I answered the door in nothing but a towel and told her to call an ambulance, after all, birth is an emergency situation, right? I headed to my bedroom to lay in my bed and wait, and in the less than 30 seconds it took for her to make sure the gate and door were open for the paramedics and then return to my room, my daughter was born. As she walked back into my room, I pushed, feeling my body completely take over and tell me "You need to do this...NOW". In 3 pushes she was born onto my bed, after about 2 hours of labor, with only my friend there. All was well, it was the hospital experience that ruined it.

Had I known then that we had just done something that was perfectly legal, I would have turned the paramedics away. Instead, it got us a 3 day hospital stay, a myriad of tests and an array of accusations.

This experience made me realize quite a few things. First and foremost, how amazing our bodies are. I naturally did many things that you SHOULD do in labor (sitting on the toilet, walking, the warm bath, squatting to birth...) but yet, I was never told to do any of these things. This is probably ONE of the reasons my labor was so quick.

Secondly, I felt so empowered. Was it what I planned? No. But that's what was so great about it. I would have never thought I could do that, but I did do that. And, I did it ALONE. How cool is that?

Thirdly, I realized that had I not had that blasted epidural with my first, I would have KNOWN that pressure to "go to the bathroom" was a BIG sign we were close to birth, that when my contractions were one on top of the other I was in transition, that when that urge to push came my body would have done it without me. Instead, I was numbed from my first child's birth, not just physically, at this point, I realized it affected it emotionally.

I began to question my births, yes, even my second one, though not the birth itself so much as the post partum stay in hell, I mean, the hospital. I realized that natural birth was no doubt the only way I would birth my babies in the future, save for a true emergency in which a cesarean would be required.

As I enjoyed my third pregnancy and all the excitement that went with it, I read and researched as much as I could. I knew I could do this (the natural birth) but I wanted to be prepared this time, I didn't want any fear that I had before. I began to learn a lot, and the more I learned, the more leery I became of the hospital. I almost had another UC (unassisted childbirth) with my son, only it would have been on purpose, but my husband really wasn't comfortable. Due to an insurance change in my 8th month and lack of preparation, I planned a hospital birth with my first OB and a rigid birthplan. I had my natural birth, it was pleasant, as pleasant as a hospital setting can make it, but I WILL have my homebirth next time, with or without the aid of a midwife.

I am happy to have 'accidentally' discovered the beauty of birth. My second daughter has taught me a lot, that is just one of many things. All my children have helped me learn and discover who I am, I only hope I can aid them in their own self discovery.

A long journey, and not done yet!

Alexander Odin Holt just minutes old.
9.6 lbs 21 1/2 inches

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