December 9, 2008
I'm a horrible person and deserve to be smited!
Kids are growing bigger each day. Maggie is in Kindergarten, Iris in preschool and Alexander is just terrorizing me all day! We are living with mom because my hubby was laid off this summer. He took the opportunity to go through the corrections academy and received his certification...now he's just looking for work where budgets haven't been cut or put on hold.
My photography has really taken off and I hope to see my little business grow this next year. I am enjoying the art very much and am so happy to be taking pictures. It's really fun for me and gives me something to focus on (literally).
I will be back to blog, I just need to get into the swing of it again! Man, how time just flies!
July 20, 2008
April 11, 2008
How to choose: Midwife or OB?
Though the ideal place for normal, low-risk pregnancy and birth is home, having a midwife and birthing in a birth center will greatly help a woman achieve a less interventionist birth.
"Why would this be important to the outcome of birth? Isn't this just more a matter of preference?" many may ask. Well, technically, yes, either way you birth is ultimately a choice you have the free will to make. But, it DOES matter and it DOES play a large role in how your birthing experience can and will go. For many women, they want a natural birth simply to feel more connected to their body, more empowered. After all, there is nothing more womanly than birth and breast-feeding. But for some women, it's more than that. It is about the child, and they learn through research and thought just how negatively unnecessary intervention can be to their precious baby. It always makes me laugh to see women watch so carefully what they eat and drink during pregnancy just to pump themselves full of drugs hours before their baby is born.
For the women looking to achieve natural childbirth, the environment in which they deliver is very important. Not only the location, but who is there with them in attendance of their birth. When looking for a prenatal care provider there is a list of things you'll want to make sure are met.
- You want to look for someone who takes the time to listen and answer your questions and concerns without making you feel rushed or degraded. Don't forget, whether you're meeting with a midwife or OB, they work for YOU. You are paying them for their services and though they are there to offer their advice and suggestions, it is all up to YOU what happens.
- You want to hire a provider that connects with you. This is probably the most important thing you will do in your life (giving birth) and you don't want to share it with someone who looks at you as another number or as a meal-ticket. You want someone who is genuinely concerned with yours (and your child's) well-being, someone who understands that your wishes for a natural birth aren't silly and shouldn't be undermined.
- You will probably want a care provider who shares your similar views and interests regarding the area of birth. Perhaps your midwife or doctor has had natural births themselves and feels strongly about it, in turn, leading to more support for you. But, don't forget, midwives and doctors are people, and if you are delivering in the hospital, you get the hospital ride, meaning they could be one way during pregnancy, and another way in labor. Always be prepared. This is also why the previous "rule" is important.
- You'll want to ask for the provider's stats. And, if they are associated with a group or specific hospital, ask for those stats as well. It is important to know the trend your provider has. If you're planning a birth center birth, it may not be a good idea to do so with a midwife who's got a transfer rate of 45%. Likewise, if looking for a natural hospital birth, you don't want to hire an OB who has a high cesarean rate (anything over 10-15%). This information is important AND you are damned welcome to it. Any provider that won't disclose this information freely and gladly should make you nervous.
- You'll want to share early in pregnancy what your wishes and goals for your birth are. Don't wait until you are 35 weeks pregnant to say "Oh, by the way, I wanted to go natural.". At that time, your doctor has already built trust with you and probably has their own plans for the birth. Aside from that, it's sort of rude to tell your provider just weeks before birth that you want "this, this and that with no if's and's or but's". Just, be straight forward. When you first meet and share this information, you can also use their reaction and answers to it as a deciding factor in whether or not they are right for you.
- You should question any routine testing/intervention/practices your provider has. Some OB's will hand out a sheet of "what to expect" at different points in your pregnancy (for ex: when certain blood tests are done). Don't be afraid to question or deny a test or procedure, but if your doctor has a pre-printed list for patients, expect that they will probably fight you on your choice to refuse. This may mean that provider is not a good match for you, and you should keep searching. No matter the procedure, you have a legal right to refuse it. Also, your provider cannot legally drop you within 30 days without finding another one to take you on. Gestational Diabetes testing, ultrasounds, amniocentesis, quad-testing, and other procedures are not required, only suggested and ONLY on a case by case basis and if the mother is willing.
- You will also want to start saving, preferably before you get pregnant, but if it doesn't happen that way (for ex: if the pregnancy is a surprise) then you can start saving and budgeting early on in your pregnancy. The reason you want to save is not only for the purchases you'll make for baby, but also for your birth. You never know what may happen. Many women discover in the end of their pregnancy that they provider wasn't who they thought (this goes for OB's AND midwives). Women may go from planning a birth center birth to home, some go from home to unassisted, and sometimes late pregnancy complications arise and you could go from out of hospital birth plans to in hospital. Life is full of surprises, so it's no wonder that the journey to bring life into the world is full of surprises as well. Save enough money as you can comfortably, but try to shoot for a figure of a couple thousand.
March 27, 2008
Going Cloth?
1. We will save a TON of money by not having to buy sposies.
2. The cloth is much softer and breathable. It also doesn't contain nasty chemicals like disposables, therefore, Alexander will have a nice rash-free bum!!
3. I can reuse them. Though it will be harder for me than another mommy as I will wash by hand, you just throw them in the wash, and you're done.
4. They are good for the environment (Earth day is April 22nd!!)
5. They are CUTE!! BumGenius, Swaddlebees, Bummis Wraps...the list goes on!! Such CUTE diapers!! And, I've been finding GREAT deals at www.diaperswappers.com!! Check it out and let the addiction take over!
Those are just a FEW reasons to CD. It's not like it was 20 years ago. It isn't the hassle or the mess that people assume it to be. Sometimes, the net can give you so much info, that it makes it confusing! Why not read about going cloth is one place.
For anyone looking for more info, a cafemom wrote a WONDERFUL journal with easy to read information, including pics, on the different diapers and methods of CDing!! Find it here.
So, when you're deciding which paths to follow in parenting (breast vs. bottle, natural vs. medical birth, circumcising or not) add cloth vs. sposies to your list!! If you want to do best by your baby and best by the environment, it's really something to look in to, you may be surprised!
March 8, 2008
Why SHOULD you breast-feed?
Why do I think you might care what I have to say? Well, I've been on BOTH sides of the fence. Actually, I've been on both sides as well as balancing ON the fence. I have only recently been able to come to terms with some of the guilt I feel over my past choices, and I would HATE for any other woman to have to struggle with the guilt I did simply because you, like I, were uninformed.
So, here are my personal reasons on why *I* think *you* should breast-feed your baby(ies).
- It is the biological norm- your baby's tummy is designed for consumption of breast-milk. A baby's digestive tract is sensitive and it is susceptible to bacteria. The phrase "breast is best" isn't really the best term, it should be "breast is normal", because it's the STANDARD for optimum infant health.
- It's FREE!- When I informed my husband that I would be breast-feeding our son come hell or high water, his reaction was simple "Cool, because formula's freakin' expensive!". It wasn't until I educated him more, during my pregnancy, on the benefits of breast-feeding, and even after watching his son thrive on my milk, that he looked at it for it's many other benefits. To him, in the beginning, it was simply enough that we would save, literally, THOUSANDS of dollars by breast-feeding.
- It's easy- it might not always be easy in the beginning, and yes, many mom's DO face hardships with nursing (though many can be avoided with good education on nursing and/or professional help from an LC) but once you've established your nursing relationship, NOTHING is easier than expose breast and attach baby. That's it, you're done! No lugging around powder, sterile water, clean bottles AND a baby! Boobs are attached, portable, and always ready to go!
- It's soothing- and not just for baby! Yes, it's true, breast-feeding will calm a fussy baby or whiney toddler like nothing else can, but it is also quite comforting and soothing for mom, both metaphorically as well as literally. When you nurse, you release oxytocin (the feel-good bonding hormone) and seratonin (the sleepy one!) which puts you (and baby) in a state of goo-goo-ga-ga lovey bliss!
- It HELPS PPD- Breast-feeding can help keep PPD (Post Partum Depression) away as well as help it to be less severe. In the event that you still experience PPD to the point of needing medication, there are medications you can take while nursing that will not hurt the baby.
- It's educational- What? How is breast-feeding educational? Well, let me tell you! When yo breast-feed, other people will inevitably see you doing it! If you have older children, they will undoubtedly be around as you feed the baby, and if they are anything like mine, they will ask questions! This is the PERFECT time to share the beauty of breast-feeding with your children. Remember, they are the future! You can also educate OTHERS by breast-feeding. If you are breast-feeding in public, there may likely come a time when someone confronts you about it (either positively or negatively) and BOTH circumstances can prove benefitial to their breast-feeding education! If it's a negative reaction (usually pertaining to whether you are in the right for breast-feeding in public) you can give them a legal education, as almost every state has a law for breast-feeding mothers, and to my knowledge, NONE have a law AGAINST it! I carry a copy of my state's legislation in my wallet. If it is a POSITIVE encounter, you can perhaps tell an inquisitive person WHY you breast-feed, encourage them to keep going (if THEY are breast-feeding) and all in all, give them exposure to breast-feeding which is helping to remind people it's NORMAL.
- It's fun- it really is! Especially as your child grows, breast-feeding can become acrobatic and humorous! As you gaze down at your little one suckling away at your breast, you get smiles, giggles, and even the occasional game of peek-a-boo as your baby hides in your breast. Sometimes, the world just melts away as you enter your own little world.
- It eases baby to sleep- Instead of resorting to possibly damaging methods like CIO (Cry It Out) or having to spend hours rocking, singing or DRIVING to get your baby to go to sleep, you can simply lay with and nurse your child into a peaceful state of slumber. Granted, all babies are different, and what works for one might not work for all, but I have yet to meet a breast-feeding mother who couldn't simply lay with and nurse her little one to sleep, even into the difficult i'llkickandscreamtogetmywayandavoidbedtime toddler years.
- It's bonding- You hear it all the time, and if you are or have been a formula/bottle feeder, it may jab you the wrong way, putting you on the defense to say "I'm BONDED with my baby! You can bottle-feed and bond ALSO!". Well, no one said you CAN'T bond with a baby despite bottle-feeding. The difference is HOW you bond and how WELL you bond. Breast-feeding gives you skin-to-skin contact, something very essential to newborn bonding. There is no other choice, if you breast-feed, you WILL be skin-to-skin with baby. Also, your breasts are attached to you, meaning there is NO option for NOT holding your baby when you feed them. Even when laying down, you are in contact with your baby. I know many bottle-feeding mothers that SWEAR they have never bottle propped, but truth be told, you WILL do it at some point, it's undeniable. It doesn't mean you ALWAYS bottle prop, but you will be much more inclined to do so, especially when you're trying to get things done and the darn baby just doesn't understand you can't drop everything for them right now! And let's not forget, baby's do learn how to hold bottles, and while they can also hold breasts, they can't exactly do it ALL on their own! Feeding is a very important time for baby, it is important that they are held, so even if you aren't nursing, please, hold your baby.
- Your child will thank you- I have actually thanked my mother for breast-feeding me. I think it is so wonderful that she made the little sacrifices in order to provide me with the best start in life. She breast-fed me EXCLUSIVELY for my first year of life. I am so happy to know that my mom held me and cuddled me and comforted me, just like I do my son, while also providing me with the most nutritious food for me! I just recently spoke with my friend who discovered she was bottle-fed and when she asked her mom why, she said she just "wasn't comfortable doing that." My friend's response was "Gee, THANKS, mom!" (obviously she was being sarcastic). If your child is still young, they will thank you each time they nurse, just by gazing at you with that intensity, rubbing your breast as they fall to sleep. If your child is a toddler nursing, they may thank you verbally, with something like "Thanks for giving me your yummy milk, mommy!". Even if you're never given a verbal thanks, the appreciation will be there, at some point. You will know, just watching your child thrive off the milk you provide for them, that they are thankful. They are thankful they have a mommy who cares, a mommy who loves them, a mommy who sacrifices to give them the norm, the standard, the best.
March 2, 2008
Baby Thoughts
One thing that amazes me is how far I've come from my first child, my first birth experience. I've done a complete 180. Would I even recognize that young girl in the delivery room? Legs in stirrups, flat on her back, monitor screwed into baby's scalp, doctor cutting away at her numb genitals? What would I say to that girl, if I could go back? Would I congratulate her on a beautiful baby? Would I tell her it was "Ok" to make those choices based absolutely on complete and utter naivety?
To tell you the truth, if I saw that girl, I don't think I could say a darn thing to her. I think I would sob, hang my head, and walk away. The good news is, it's impossible to ever be in that scenario (time travel not existing and all), but also because that same young girl who was so vulnerable to being taken advantage of (and basically asking for it) has changed so much since then. The dilemma that I REALLY face is telling OTHER women BEFORE they are that girl.
I've seen many women go through something like I did with baby number one, but come out of the OR after it all. Even if they escaped surgery, the wounds are still there. You can see it. Women who praise epidurals do it because they fear their own ability and they also feel as if they failed themselves. They KNOW that they are upset they couldn't birth their baby naturally (or rather, THOUGHT they couldn't). After all, how many natural birthers have heard from someone how "strong" they are, how "amazing" or that they are "a hero"? I've even been told this.
I am no super woman!!! I am simply A WOMAN. I went the route of trusting the doctor and yea, I survived and, at the time, I enjoyed my experience (for the most part), but I have since learned that trust in the doctor is trust misplaced. We need to trust in OURSELVES. We need to take responsibility for our labors, for how we will get through the pain because YES, there will be pain! You can either run from it, risking yourself and your baby, or you could embrace it, EMPOWERING yourself and sparing your baby!
The choice is yours. You can numb yourself from the beauty of childbirth or you could enjoy the amazing experience for what it is.
February 11, 2008
Junk Food for Babies?
Those are the ingredients listed (in order) on a can of Similac Soy Formula (artificial baby milk). Below, you will find some information from the web on the ingredients. On top of the fact that these ingredients are mostly bizarre to find in a BREAST-MILK SUBSTITUTE, they are gross. I cannot believe that babies are being fed this crap, and then we're wondering why our society suffers from a diabetes epidemic. Gah! The following info was compiled by Savina (http://savina.livejournal.com/). Thanks for taking the time to help figure out what most of this junk was!
43.2% Corn Syrup Solids - Corn syrup solids are produced by carrying out the corn syrup refining process until the dextrose content makes up more that 20% of the total dry product. Because of this high ratio of dextrose, corn syrup solids are often used as a sweetener, especially in low-fat foods. Corn syrup is often used in low-fat foods as it adds sweetness, viscosity, and improves texture.
14.6% Soy Protein Isolate - Soy critics point to the fact that soybeans, as provided by nature, are not suitable for human consumption. Only after fermentation for some time, or extensive processing, including chemical extractions and high temperatures, are the beans, or the soy protein isolate, suitable for digestion when eaten.
11.5% High Oleic Safflower oil - The preferred form of the oil is high oleic safflower oil which has a higher percentage of monounsaturated (oleic) fatty acids — 76% monounsaturated, as opposed to 13% monounsaturated in regular safflower oil. Monounsaturated fat, found in high quantities in olive oil, is thought to be heart healthy because it lowers LDL (bad) cholesterol levels while at the same time maintaining HDL (good) cholesterol levels. High oleic safflower oil is also less susceptible to oxidation than regular safflower oil, another beneficial attribute.
10.3%Sugar (Sucrose)
8.4% Soy Oil - During World War II, soybeans became important in both North America and Europe chiefly as substitutes for other protein foods and as a source of edible oil.
8.1% Coconut Oil - Coconut oil is a fat consisting of about 90% saturated fat. The oil contains predominantly medium chain triglycerides,[1] with roughly 92% saturated fatty acids, 6% monounsaturated fatty acids, and 2% polyunsaturated fatty acids. Of the saturated fatty acids, coconut oil is primarily 44.6% lauric acid, 16.8% myristic acid a 8.2% palmitic acid and 8% caprylic acid, although it contains seven different saturated fatty acids in total. Its only monounsaturated fatty acid is oleic acid while its only polyunsaturated fatty acid is linoleic acid.[2]
The American Heart Association recommends that individuals reduce their consumption of saturated fats, including those found in coconut oil, to less than 7% of one's caloric intake. [4] [5]
Less than 2% of calcium Phosphate - Calcium phosphate is the name given to a family of minerals containing calcium ions (Ca2+) together with orthophosphates (PO43-), metaphosphates or pyrophosphates (P2O74-) and occasionally hydrogen or hydroxide ions. Seventy percent of bone is made up of hydroxylapatite, a calcium phosphate mineral.
Potassium Citrate - Potassium citrate is rapidly absorbed when given by mouth and is excreted in the urine as the carbonate. It is, therefore, effective in reducing the pain and frequency of micturition when these are caused by highly acidic urine. It is used for this purpose in dogs and cats, but is chiefly employed as a non-irritating diuretic.
Potassium Chloride - The chemical compound potassium chloride (KCl) is a metal halide composed of potassium and chlorine. In its pure state it is odorless. It has a white or colorless vitreous crystal, with a crystal structure that cleaves easily in three directions. Potassium chloride crystals are face-centered cubic. Potassium chloride is also commonly known as "Muriate of Potash". Potash varies in color from pink or red to white depending on the mining and recovery process used. White potash, sometimes referred to as soluble potash, is usually higher in analysis and is used primarily for making liquid starter fertilizers. KCl is used in medicine, scientific applications, food processing and in judicial execution through lethal injection. It occurs naturally as the mineral sylvite and in combination with sodium chloride as sylvinite.
Magnesium chloride- Magnesium chloride is the name for the chemical compounds with the formulas MgCl2 and its various hydrates MgCl2(H2O)x. These salts are typical ionic halides, being highly soluble in water. The hydrated magnesium chloride can be extracted from brine or sea water. Anhydrous magnesium chloride is the principal precursor to magnesium metal, which is produced on a large scale.
Ascorbic acid - a sugar acid with antioxidant properties. Its appearance is white to light-yellow crystals or powder. It is water-soluble. The L-enantiomer of ascorbic acid is commonly known as vitamin C.
choline - Choline is an organic compound, classified as an essential nutrient[1][2][3] and usually grouped within the Vitamin B complex.
Chloride - Chloride is a chemical your body needs for metabolism (the process of turning the food you eat into energy). It also helps keep the body's acid-base balance. The amount of chloride in the blood is carefully controlled by the kidneys
L Methionine - High levels of methionine can be found in sesame seeds, Brazil nuts, fish, meats, and some other plant seeds.[citation needed] Most fruit and vegetables contain very little of it; however, some have significant amounts, such as spinach, potatoes, and boiled corn.
Taurine -Taurine, or 2-aminoethanesulfonic acid, is an organic acid. It is also a major constituent of bile and can be found in lower amounts in the tissues of many animals including humans. [1][2] Taurine is a derivative of the sulfur-containing (sulfhydryl) amino acid, cysteine. Taurine is the only known naturally occurring sulfonic acid.[3] It is a very important ingredient in pet food, specifically cats, as it's vital for their nutrition.
Ascorbyl Palmitate - Ascorbyl palmitate is an ester formed from ascorbic acid and palmitic acid creating a fat-soluble form of vitamin C.
Ferrous sulfate - Ferrous sulfate provides the iron needed by the body to produce red blood cells. It is used to treat or prevent iron-deficiency anemia, a condition that occurs when the body has too few red blood cells because of pregnancy, poor diet, excess bleeding, or other medical problems.
m- inositol - I can't quote anything specific, but it is manufactured vitamin C.
mixed tocopherols - Tocopherol, a class of chemical compounds of which many have vitamin E activity, describes a series of organic compounds consisting of various methylated phenols. Because the vitamin activity was first identified in 1936 from a dietary fertility factor in rats, it was given the name "tocopherol" from the Greek words “τοκος” [birth], and “φορειν”, [to bear or carry] meaning in sum "to carry a pregnancy," with the ending "-ol" signifying its status as a chemical alcohol.
Zinc Sulfate - Zinc sulfate (ZnSO4) is a colorless crystalline, water-soluble chemical compound. The hydrated form, ZnSO4·7H2O, the mineral goslarite, was historically known as "white vitriol" and can be prepared by reacting zinc with aqueous sulfuric acid. It may also be prepared by adding solid zinc to a Copper II Sulfate solution. (Zn+CuSO4→ZnSO4+Cu) It is used to supply zinc in animal feeds, fertilizers, and agricultural sprays
d-alphatocopheryl acetate - Vitamin E acetate is a dry, powder form of vitamin E that has no antioxidant power until the acetate is removed in the intestine as it is absorbed.
L-carnitine - Carnitine, also known as L-carnitine or levocarnitine, is a quaternary ammonium compound biosynthesized from the amino acids lysine and methionine.[1] It helps in the consumption and disposal of fat in the body because it is responsible for the transport of fatty acids from the cytosol into the mitochondria.
Niacinamide - Niacinamide is one of the water-soluble B-complex vitamins.
calcium pantothenate - Other commonly used names are vitamin B 5 and calcium pantothenate .
Cupric sulfate - http://www.jtbaker.com/msds/englishhtml/C5918.htm
I don't even know why this is included. It's NEVER used in food, from what I found, and is actually hazardous to ingest, citing even burning of the esophogus and stomach.
thiamine chloride hydrochloride - Thiamine (vitamin B1) is useful in deficiencies of B vitamins, usually due to alcoholism, poor diet or starvation. The best natural sources are in all plant and animal foods but good sources are in brown rice, whole grains, seafood and legumes (pulses).
vitamin a palmitate - Retinyl palmitate, or vitamin A palmitate, is a common vitamin supplement, with formula C36H60O2. It is available in both oral and injectable forms for treatment of vitamin A deficiency, under the brand names Aquasol A® and Palmitate A®.
riboflavin - Riboflavin (E101), also known as vitamin B2, is an easily absorbed micronutrient with a key role in maintaining health in animals. It is the central component of the cofactors FAD and FMN, and is therefore required by all flavoproteins. As such, vitamin B2 is required for a wide variety of cellular processes. Like the other B vitamins, it plays a key role in energy metabolism, and is required for the metabolism of fats, carbohydrates, and proteins.
pyridoxine hydrochloride - Water-soluble vitamin of the B complex. There is no clearly identifiable disease associated with deficiency but its absence from the diet can give rise to malfunction of the central nervous system and general skin disorders. Good sources are liver, meat, milk, and cereal grains. Related compounds may also show vitamin B6 activity.
folic acid - Folic acid and folate (the anion form) are forms of the water-soluble Vitamin B9.
potassium iodide -Potassium iodide is used in photography, in the preparation of silver(I) iodide for high speed photographic film. Potassium iodide is also added to table salt in small quantities to make it "iodized". In a saturated solution, it is also used as an expectorant to treat lung congestion.
potassium hydroxide
phylloquinone - Phylloquinone is a polycyclic aromatic ketone, based on 2-methyl-1,4-naphthoquinone, with a 3-phytyl substituent. It is often called vitamin K1.
biotin - Biotin, also known as vitamin H or B7, has the chemical formula C10H16N2O3S (Biotin; Coenzyme R, Biopeiderm), is a water-soluble B-complex vitamin which is composed of an ureido (tetrahydroimidizalone) ring fused with a tetrahydrothiophene ring. A valeric acid substituent is attached to one of the carbon atoms of the tetrahydrothiophene ring. Biotin is a cofactor in the metabolism of fatty acids and leucine, and in gluconeogenesis.
sodium selenate - Selenium is a chemical element that is essential, in small amounts, to humans and other living things. In the body it is found as part of the enzyme glutathione peroxidase, which helps to rid the body of destructive ‘superoxide’ molecules.
beta-carotene - The name "carotene" was first coined in the early 19th Century by the scientist Wachenroder after he crystallized this compound from carrot roots. Beta-carotene is a member of the carotenoids, which are highly pigmented (red, orange, yellow), fat-soluble compounds naturally present in many fruits, grains, oil and vegetables (green plants, carrots, sweet potatoes, squash, spinach, apricots, and green peppers). Alpha, beta, and gamma carotene are considered provitamins because they can be converted to active vitamin A.
Vitamin d3 - Vitamin D regulates the calcium and phosphorus levels in the blood by promoting their absorption from food in the intestines, and by promoting re-absorption of calcium in the kidneys.
Cyanocobalamin is an especially common "vitamer" (that is, member of a family of vitamins, all of which have some particular nutritional activity in preventing some vitamin deficiency disease) of the B-12 vitamin family. It is the most famous vitamer of the family, because it is chemically the most air-stable, and it is the easiest to crystallize and therefore easiest to purify after it is produced by bacterial fermentation.
February 9, 2008
Born Again Breastfeeder
But ahhh, I HAVE been there. I am, in fact, a born again breast-feeder. My first child received the benefits of my breast-milk for an exclusive 2 month period, becoming totally weaned to the toxic bottle by the age of 4 months. This was due mostly to lack of support or information (in regards to the benefits of breast-feeding as well as formula dangers). Being of the ripe age of 17, a full time student and worker as well as single mom and with no one urging or supporting me to pump for my daughter, the likely choice was to bottle feed with artificial and substandard baby-milk, also known as formula.
I never thought twice about this choice, and though I had enjoyed nursing my daughter, I had certainly had trials with it. One being that my mother had me nurse in separate rooms around company and that I couldn't "be a teen" while breast-feeding, aside from the nipple pain I had experienced in the beginning).
When my second child was born, my husband (then boyfriend) and I had decided we could not afford to raise our child, and prior to her birth had planned on adoption. Even during our stay in the hospital, this was our mindset. My daughter was receiving bottles of formula, as it was assumed this would be how she'd be fed upon her adoption. 24 hours or so after her birth we both finally admitted there was simply no way we could go through with it, and, no matter how hard a burden, we'd take care of her, not someone else. I half-heartedly attempted to put her to my breast. I was both nervous and emotional. She did not latch and showed absolutely no interest, and instead of pursuing it, I just admitted defeat. My second child never received a drop of breast-milk.
During my third live pregnancy, I decided I was going to breast-feed for a few reasons.
- It was economically wise
- I had no reason not to, being a SAHM
- I knew it had benefits over formula, not only financially but health wise.
- I missed nursing, even though I had only done it for a very short time.
I began to hear more and more about how dangerous formula could be, and when looking in at it from someone who could see both sides, I was amazed at the reasons one would choose formula (barring all true medical necessities). To this day, I cannot think of nor have I seen one SELFLESS reason to formula feed by choice. The more I read and researched about this infamous formula vs. breast-milk debate, the more I learned that there were many misconceptions surrounding breast-feeding. I could start to predict someone's story as to why they "had" to formula feed. It was much like the "necessary cesarean" stories, which all fell into the same cookie cutter shape.
By the time I was 9 months pregnant, I knew not only would I breast-feed my son, but formula simply was NOT an option. I can tell you, my son and I have yet to run into a problem nursing. I hardly even experienced soreness in the beginning. I attribute 99% of this to my attitude toward breast-feeding this time around.
Do I look down on women that formula feed? No, not really, more-so I feel BAD for them, because many believe they have a medical reason to be using formula, when the reality was just poor advice on breast-feeding.
As someone who has been on both sides of the spectrum, I feel obligated to share what I've learned and I love sharing what I know with other women. Just because you didn't breast-feed your first doesn't mean you cannot breast-feed your subsequent children. I think that mindset comes from inner guilt. As with many things in life and parenting, when you KNOW better, you DO better, and breast-feeding is no different.
February 8, 2008
Bittersweet
I know that she formula fed her daughters and it had come up at Thanksgiving. I think most of it was the times and the lack of support/information. They "wouldn't latch" to the breast, and therefor were bottle babies. I just thought it was sort of a bittersweet feeling to hear her say that I was lucky. Her voice sounded so sad, but I know that she's happy her little baby grandson is breastfed.
Yes, I'm lucky to be able to breastfeed, but my son is luckier to BE breastfed.
Why I love natural birth and how I came to love it.
My first pregnancy was unplanned. I was with a huge jerk (to put it incredibly lightly) and was only 16 when I conceived my glorious daughter. After seeing the two lines on the test confirming my pregnancy and deciding right then and there I was keeping my baby, the second decision I made was to sign up for an epidural, because "No way was I going to feel that pain if I didn't have to!". My mother tried to talk me out of it numerous times, having birthed my brother and I naturally, but I wouldn't have it. Yes, I had sex and was soon to be a mother, but I was still a teenager, and part of my insistance was to spite her. Ahh, ignorance is bliss.
When Christmas break of my senior year arrived and I was just days away from my due date, I still never doubted my decision to "numb" my birth experience. When the big day came, I did just that. At 4 cm and "near death" from the pain (Read: I was a big fat wimp that did nothing to prepare except sign up for the epi) I received my epidural. "In 15 minutes, you'll feel nothing from the waist down.". GREAT. FINALLY. But, what's this? 15 minutes later I'm still crying like a baby. The epi didn't take, so I had to have it re-administered (oh yea, that was fun. Anyone who's had one of those gawd awful things KNOWS what I'm talking about!). This time, it took and I proceeded to fall asleep.
I was woken up a few hours later by nurse who checked me, said I was complete and told me to start pushing. After about 1 1/2-2 hours of pushing, my doctor showed up. 3 hours from the start of pushing, my mom holding one leg, my best friend holding the other, my daughter was finally born, with internal monitor in her head and all! She was whisked away to NICU to address this DANGEROUS (sarcasm) meconium, then her apgar was done and finally, at 1 hour old, I held my baby girl, nursed her for 15 minutes and she was whisked away again, to go to the nursery, while I was sent to post partum.
Fast forward to baby number 2. The birth of my second daughter was very different from that of my first. I woke up at 4:30 in the morning with contractions, pretty regular ones at that, but not painful, just consistent. I sent hubby off to work and told him that by the time he got home at around 1pm we'd probably need to head to the hospital to have a baby.
That never happened. I mean, we had a baby, but not at 1pm, and not at a hospital. My labor quickly progressed from consistent to efficient. I thought back to my previous birth, when I thought the end of the world was approaching at 4cm, and I decided I was nowhere near that this time and to labor it out at home until Seth returned.
I began to feel a lot of pressure, and was sure I had to go to the bathroom. I made a lot of attempts to do so, but to no avail. I paced a lot, it's just what my body needed, told me to do. I hardly sat still for a moment. Finally, I was having to really breathe through my contractions and decided a bath sounded nice. I ran the water, nice and warm, and sunk into the tub. I actually began to drift to sleep. The bath worked...for a while. Finally, I was in the mindset that birth was eminent and I need to go. I called Seth at work, but he said he couldn't leave (at this time we were very poor and he worked a minimum wage job that we needed and he was afraid of losing it). I called my best friend, Toni, and she rushed right over.
I answered the door in nothing but a towel and told her to call an ambulance, after all, birth is an emergency situation, right? I headed to my bedroom to lay in my bed and wait, and in the less than 30 seconds it took for her to make sure the gate and door were open for the paramedics and then return to my room, my daughter was born. As she walked back into my room, I pushed, feeling my body completely take over and tell me "You need to do this...NOW". In 3 pushes she was born onto my bed, after about 2 hours of labor, with only my friend there. All was well, it was the hospital experience that ruined it.
Had I known then that we had just done something that was perfectly legal, I would have turned the paramedics away. Instead, it got us a 3 day hospital stay, a myriad of tests and an array of accusations.
This experience made me realize quite a few things. First and foremost, how amazing our bodies are. I naturally did many things that you SHOULD do in labor (sitting on the toilet, walking, the warm bath, squatting to birth...) but yet, I was never told to do any of these things. This is probably ONE of the reasons my labor was so quick.
Secondly, I felt so empowered. Was it what I planned? No. But that's what was so great about it. I would have never thought I could do that, but I did do that. And, I did it ALONE. How cool is that?
Thirdly, I realized that had I not had that blasted epidural with my first, I would have KNOWN that pressure to "go to the bathroom" was a BIG sign we were close to birth, that when my contractions were one on top of the other I was in transition, that when that urge to push came my body would have done it without me. Instead, I was numbed from my first child's birth, not just physically, at this point, I realized it affected it emotionally.
I began to question my births, yes, even my second one, though not the birth itself so much as the post partum stay in hell, I mean, the hospital. I realized that natural birth was no doubt the only way I would birth my babies in the future, save for a true emergency in which a cesarean would be required.
As I enjoyed my third pregnancy and all the excitement that went with it, I read and researched as much as I could. I knew I could do this (the natural birth) but I wanted to be prepared this time, I didn't want any fear that I had before. I began to learn a lot, and the more I learned, the more leery I became of the hospital. I almost had another UC (unassisted childbirth) with my son, only it would have been on purpose, but my husband really wasn't comfortable. Due to an insurance change in my 8th month and lack of preparation, I planned a hospital birth with my first OB and a rigid birthplan. I had my natural birth, it was pleasant, as pleasant as a hospital setting can make it, but I WILL have my homebirth next time, with or without the aid of a midwife.
I am happy to have 'accidentally' discovered the beauty of birth. My second daughter has taught me a lot, that is just one of many things. All my children have helped me learn and discover who I am, I only hope I can aid them in their own self discovery.
A long journey, and not done yet!
February 3, 2008
10 Intact Truths You May be Surprised to Hear
*Warning, Satire*
10. Phimosis. Yup! It's REAL. It DOES happen. What exactly IS Phimosis? Well, in laymen's terms, it's when the opening of the prepuce (foreskin) is small, too small, in fact, to roll back over the glans (head) of the penis. OMG! Why would we risk this happening to our boys! Well, firstly, it's VERY rare and highly overdiagnosed. Since the foreskin is different on each person (such as the labia on some women is more extended or even the clitoris) it retracts any time between infancy and adulthood. Big range? Yes, yes it is. Therefore, you cannot properly diagnose someone with phimosis accurately before they are an adult, yet it is done all the time. In some cases, this may cause pain to the individual and when phimosis is truly the issue, it can be fixed, most of the time, without any surgery being required. Steroid creams and manual stretching or stimulation to the foreskin can often "cure" this "problem". In the instance of a stubborn foreskin, one need only see the urologist for a small incision in the opening of the foresking to allow it to stretch enough. Circumcision may never even be required for phimosis, so to do it to avoid the RARE possibility of having phimosis, is just not a valid enough reason.
9. SMEGMA. This word, for some reason, seems to have a lot of people freaked out. It is, in fact, a very REAL thing. Smegma is EVERYWHERE. Here's a surprise: YOU have smegma! All it is, is DISCHARGE. It is lubrication for the head of the penis or, in women, for the vagina. It traps bacteria to keep it OUT of the urethra and help AVOID infection. It is important and serves a purpose. Yes, it has an odor! So do you. If you were to smell yourself after a long day or if you hadn't showered, I can tell you, it's probably not attractive and any man would say he wouldn't venture there! Oh my, how dare he! Well, how dare we say it of him!
8. Retraction. It is true. An ADULT male DOES have to retract his foreskin to clean. I hate to admit it. It must really be tedious to have to retract, rince, and replace, instead of just rinsing. I think it might take a whole 10 seconds instead of five, who has that time these days?
7. Unattractive. An uncircumcised male's penis is unattractive. Yup, it sure as heck is. But wait...I have never seen an ATTRACTIVE penis. I've seen both, been with both. You have the choice of the offensive intact penis, with it's extended foreskin hiding the head except during erection or the circumcised penis, with it's scars and roughened head. Gross. I'll just be a lesbian, all penises are ugly. Oh wait, so are vaginas. Damn, I'm screwed.
6. Different from dad. So true. If your husband is circumcised, not doing so to your son is going to leave him wondering why they are so different. But, with all circucmsions being performed different, healing differently, penises being different sizes, adult men having pubic hair there seems to be a whole list of things that are different between father and son just with their genitals. So, if I have to worry about explaining that, what am I going to do when my son has a different nose, or ears, or chin than my husband? Or why my husband has a hairy chest, or deep voice! Oh my goodness, I am running into all sorts of problems here. But, at least I can try to make their penises look similar. That is a load of my back!
5. STD's. Quite a few different studies support a slight decrease in the transfer of STD's in circumcised partners. Most of these are in regards to men circ'd later in life or done in other countries. Nonetheless, I don't want my boy bringing home the nasties! But wait, can't he still get it? So, it's not a guarantee, right? I mean, the only way to PREVENT getting and transferring STD's is to practice SAFE sex or abstinence. I'm not really sure how the fact that it's decreased is relevent, but I suppose it is a lot easier to have him circumcised at birth and not have to worry about educating him on safe sex practices. Plus, how uncomfortable would THAT conversation be!
4. Culture. I don't think I need to tell anyone that circumcision is a cultural thing. And not just in the US, in other places around the globe. We have one of the highest circumcision rates of developed countries. And, we're America! We know what we're doing...right? I mean, we do have some of the highest HIV/AIDS rates, even though we're making sure to circumcise our boys because as we learned, it prevents that, err...CAN prevent...err, MAY decrease the risk of that. Nonetheless, it's cultural. It's the American way, and of course, America has NEVER been wrong. *cough*Bush*cough*
3. UTI's. This IS true. Circumcised men are less likely to get UTI's! PRAISE BE! However, girls still get far more UTI's, too bad we have to waste money on antibiotics for them. For boys, it's so much easier, since we have circumcision available to fix that! I mean, sure, they can still GET UTI's, and it's rare for a boy to get one anyway, but, like I said, all the money we'll save in copays for visits and prescriptions by just paying one time for circumcision, that is a HUGE load off of my back, especially since I'll need that money to pay for my girls' treatments.
2. Religion. It's obvious that all religions have demands from their higher powers to do or perform certain things. Most require some form of prayer or praise and even different types of sacrifices. For Jews and Muslims, circumcision is one such practice required by God. I mean, yea, there's a group of Jews that oppose circumcision, but they aren't orthodox anyway. And, well, I know that none of us practice EVERYTHING that our faith teaches, but that's why God gave us free will, it makes it easier to pick and choose which parts we follow to suit our needs and which ones we ignore.
1. Choice. Here's the shocker: circumcision is a parent's choice. I'm not arguing with that. How can I? The law SAYS so. If I were to say it wasn't your choice, that'd be like saying blue is REALLY purple. It's simply not true, no matter how many times I say it! Is it the right choice? Should it be a choice? I mean, why not! But, how come I can't circumcise my daughter? Oh, the law says it's not my choice, that's right. But, what about my dog? Oh, you mean it protects him too? I remember when my mom's horse got an infection, and she had to clean out his sheath. Have any of you SEEN a horse penis? Do you KNOW how big those things are? FAR bigger than a man's! Anyway, I remember her saying what a PITA it was to clean that and you know, if only she could have circumcised her horse, she would never have had to deal with that! Instead, she was FORCED to clean him out and give him antibiotics. Damn horse.
You have entered a NO DRAMA zone.